Tip of the Month for March 2004 - The Business Lunch

mym

Tip of the Month for March 2004
The Business Lunch

What our mothers taught us at the dinner table won’t hurt us

Only a few table manners come to mind from my childhood. My mother might have gone through the whole text; my recollection is a bit fuzzy. I recall our dinners being conducted in a state of frenzy. I was the youngest of six and bound and determined to get my fare share of the food, as were my siblings. I’m not sure if any of us really cared much about proper table etiquette. Rarely did we have the luxury of dining out, or attend an elegant dining event. But at home there were two absolutes; the television was never on, and the entire family sat down together for a meal every night of the week. If our culture did just that, we would successfully prepare our children for the business arena. The art of the meal should never fall on just what utensil to use, and when. The art of the meal is making everyone at the table feel comfortable and enjoying one another’s company.

Did you know that over 40% of business meetings are conducted over a meal? That concept is absurd to other cultures. Business should not be discussed over a meal, but if you must break this rule you should consider waiting until the entrée has been removed. A meal is a way to get to know someone, not to unravel unwanted paper at a table full of food, while launching into a business discussion. When our children graduate from college over 70% of them will be doing business in the global market place. In other cultures, attention is still paid to manners, especially table manners. As a whole, Americans are completely unprepared for formal dining.

One should consider their duties went entering a business meal. Are you the host or the guest? One role cannot exist without the other. As confusing as it may seem to us at first, the words “host” and “guest” originally meant the same thing.

If you are hosting the business lunch, remember that a little careful preparation will go a long way toward keeping the meal easy and will help build credibility with your guest. This is not a formal dining tutorial, rather some tips for the host to remember when taking a guest to a business lunch.

Consider your guest’s taste. If possible, find out your guest’s dining preferences. You can simply ask when extending the invitation. You may wish to give your guest one or two restaurants to choose from.

Choose a restaurant you know. You can create an immediately comfortable dining and social environment by inviting your guest to a place you know and enjoy, and where you are known. If you are unfamiliar with a restaurant make a point to visit the establishment prior to your meeting. Make sure you get to know the staff. The guest will feel much more at home and impressed that you have built a relationship with the employees at the restaurant.

Invite well in advance. You should arrange a business lunch at least a week in advance, allowing your guest ample time to schedule and prepare for the meeting. The invitation may be a personal invitation, or a formal written invitation. Contact your guest the day prior to the lunch to confirm and make sure they have proper directions if you are not picking them up. It is both courteous and professional to supply your guest with an agenda. Your guest will want to be equally prepared. Keep the agenda to one or two topics. Remember this is a lunch and not an office meeting.

Arrive early and greet your guest. The host should arrive a half hour prior to the meeting time. This will allow you to know exactly what table you will be dining at. You will also want to make sure the names of your servers, and they know your name as well. It is also important that the staff understand that you are the host for this meal. Greet your guest at the front door or lobby. If you are seated, make sure the guest is brought to your table and you stand to greet them. Don’t mess anything up at the table until your guest has arrived. You want the table to look nice and neat for your guest.

Leave your credit card with the server and instruct them to not bring the bill to your table. Tell them you will sign the bill later in the meal, or on your way out. Sometimes bringing the bill to the table creates an uncomfortable feeling for the guest. This should be done out of sight of the guest if at all possible. If you are comfortable with the restaurant and staff you may ask your server in advance to prepare the bill including a specific tip amount and submit it to you at meal’s end.

The host has more responsibilities than inviting and paying. Now that your guest has arrived you must make that person feel welcome and comfortable. A good guest will follow your lead. Make sure you are prepared for this. After you have been seated your guest will wait for your instructions. This would include such things as, whether or not to take off your business jacket. A guest will never remove their jacket before the host. A guest will wait for the host to remove their napkin, and then follow suit. Place your napkin on your lap shortly after you sit down. Your napkin should be unfolded rather than shaken out. Your napkin should never be tucked into any part of your clothing. Lunch napkins are unfolded entirely, while a dinner napkin is much larger and may be folded once with the crease closest to your body. Once you are finished with the meal you will place your napkin in loose folds to the left of your setting. Guests, you do not remove your napkin to the finish position until you see your host done so.

Order right away. Make it a point to look at the menu before you begin a long conversation, otherwise you will spend time trying to read while you are trying to converse. Make suggestions to your guest, you want them to understand what your budget will allow. Giving them suggestions will ease their tension on what is proper to order and what is not. If your guest orders an appetizer or salad so should the host. You don’t wish for your guest to eat alone.

Business should only be discussed after the entrée is removed. Our culture makes this mistake often. Discussing business over a meal is poor etiquette. After the entrée is removed you may begin the meeting. Make sure your papers and briefcase are under your seat or table during the meal. Bring these items to the table only after the entrée has been removed. Keep your business to no more than two topics.

After your guest has had enough to eat or drink and you have finished your business, thank them for coming. This is the time you lay your napkin to the left of your plate and walk your guest to the door. At that time you may wish to sign the check if you haven’t already done so.

Tipping advice:

· The waiter or waitress receives 15-20 percent of total bill.

· The sommelier or wine steward receives either 15 percent of the cost of bottle, or $3 to $5 per bottle.

· However, wine is typically not an option for business lunch.

· The coatroom attendant receives $1 per coat.

· Maitre D’. If this person helped in selecting the table and took care of things you will typically tip them $7 to $10.

· The parking valet or garage attendant receives $1 to $2.

As the host you will want to make sure you have single bills handy for any tipping required. It is your responsibility to take care of tipping for your guest. This includes coat checking, and valet service.

The host need not contact the guest in the next day or two; however the guest should always send a handwritten note within twenty-four hours of the lunch.

Mind Your Manners specializes in seminars and consulting services in business etiquette and international protocol. For more information, please contact Amy Palec at (262) 376-0515 or visit her web site www.amypalec.com.