Tip of the Month for August 2004
Simple Rules of Dining

It is my experience that most parents made an attempt to share simple dining etiquette rules in our youth. Over the years of McDonalds, pizza or meat on a stick (my favorite) we have forgotten some of the simplest rules of dining.

Over the next couple of months I will continue to reinforce some of the proper etiquette rules for dining. You may ask yourself: what does this have to do with business etiquette? Did you know that over 40% of business is discussed over a meal?

FYI: Dining Dos and Don’ts

Do try a little of everything served to you unless you know you’re allergic to a certain food.

Do avoid talking with your mouth full. Take small bites, and you will find it easier to answer questions and join in table talk.

Do wait until you have swallowed the food in your mouth before you take a sip of your beverage.

Do wait until everyone at your table has been seated with food before you begin eating.

Do remember bread is on your left, beverages are on your right.

Do leave your plate where it is when you have finished eating, with the knife and fork in the 10:20 “I am finished” position. Place the tips of the utensils at 10 and the handles at 4.

Do look into, not over, your cup or glass when drinking.

Do butter bread on the plate, never in midair.

Do remember your posture at the table. Sit up straight, and keep your arms (including elbows) off the table.

Do leave dropped silver on the floor. Quietly signal the wait staff to bring another piece.

Do point out to your wait staff any foreign objects in your food, but do so in a non-combative manner.

Do remove an object such as a bone or gristle from your mouth with your thumb and index finger and place it on the rim of your plate.

Do remove your napkin and place it on your chair when you are excusing yourself for a moment.

Do remove your napkin and place it to the left of your place setting when the meal is finished.

Do consider you guest’s taste and personality. If he is humble, you will not want to choose the fanciest restaurant in town. On the other hand, a client who has given you lots of business and has entertained you lavishly deserves the same treatment.

Do be in control of your business entertaining. There should not be any doubt by the maitre d’, the captain, or any of the restaurant staff that you are the host.

Do call your guest the day before to reconfirm.

Do be aware that women, when hosting in countries other than the United States of America, should not have the check presented at the table. In many cultures, it is considered an affront for a woman to pay. Arrive early and make arrangements for paying before your guests arrive. I suggest hosts get in the habit of doing this in our culture as well. Gender makes no difference—a good host will make sure the bill never arrives at the table if at all possible.

Do let your guest precede you when escorted to the table by the maitre d’.

Do offer bread and butter to your guest before helping yourself.

Don’t, in serving, overload your plate.

Don’t, in eating, overload the fork.

Don’t mop your face with your napkin.

Don’t spread your elbows when cutting meat. Keep them close to your sides when eating.

Don’t saw meat back and forth—cut only when pulling the knife towards you.

Don’t chew with your mouth open.

Don’t smack your lips.

Don’t touch your face or head at the table.

Don’t tip up the glass or cup too much when drinking, but keep it at a slight angle.

Don’t reach across the table or across another person to get something. If it’s out of reach, ask the closest person to pass it to you.

Don’t send the salt without the pepper when asked to pass the salt. The two always remain together.

Don’t pick your teeth—excuse yourself and take care of the problem in the privacy of the restroom.

Don’t push your plate away from you when you’ve finished eating.

Don’t gesture with your knife, fork, or spoon in your hand. If you are not using the utensil, put it down in the resting position.

Don’t talk about your personal food likes and dislikes while eating, especially when eating at a person’s home.

Don’t eat your neighbor’s bread or salad. A right-handed person reaches to the left across the dinner plate to eat salad. The bread and butter plate is placed slightly above the salad plate.

Don’t ask your guest where he or she would like to eat. The burden of choice belongs to the host.

Don’t hesitate to signal the wait staff if your client needs something or is unhappy with his or her meal.

In the next month I will walk you through eating various foods. Several months ago I sent a tip about the “business meal.” If you did not receive this tip you may find it on my website.

Although I always tell my clients that etiquette is not just about the proper utensil to use when dining. Rather it’s about making people feel good about themselves while making yourself look polished and approachable. However, etiquette is the art of knowing how to conduct yourself in any given situation. Dining in the workplace is oftentimes fumbled because we have forgotten some of the simple rules of etiquette.

September’s tip will inform you how to eat various foods. Should my favorite (meat on a stick) be eaten with my hands or should I gently cut the meat from the stick? Find out in next month’s tip.

Mind Your Manners specializes in seminars and consulting services in business etiquette and international protocol. For more information, please contact Amy Palec at (262) 376-0515 or visit her web site www.amypalec.com.
 

© 2004 Amy L. Palec