Tip of the Month for September 2004
Eating Various Foods

I’m sure you are all at the edge of your seats waiting to hear how to eat “meat on a stick.” Last month’s tip I gave you some brief dos and don’ts on dining etiquette. This month’s tip is how to eat various foods. How many times have you waited for others to begin eating various foods before you began eating, because you were unsure how to eat certain foods appropriately?

My older sister went to a fancy restaurant with her boyfriend in high school. On the menu they noticed several items they could not pronounce, so they decided to order the one thing they recognized: shrimp cocktail. The two of them devoured the shrimp. When they returned later that evening, my sister said, “I don’t know what the big deal is about shrimp cocktail.” My mother looked confused, “why do you say that?” Apparently, my sister and her boyfriend ate the entire shrimp including the tail, along with several glasses of water to choke down the tough fiber lodged in their throats.

Shrimp cocktail should be eaten with a seafood fork. Eat large shrimp in two bites. Shrimp with tails left on may be held by the tail with fingers, dipped in sauce, bitten off and the tail discarded.

Fish in general can be very difficult when you are not familiar with the various utensils.

Today, it is rare to be served a whole fish in the USA; however, in many countries small fish are served whole, complete with the head and tail. Hold the fish fork in your left hand and the fish knife in your right hand and debone as follows: secure the fish with your fork and use your knife to cut off the head and the tail and place them to one side of the plate; cut away the small edging of the fish all along the stomach, to remove the small bones; repeat this process along the backbone. Lift away the backbone and put it next to the head and tail.

Filleted fish. If the fish is soft and boneless, it is correct to use only the fish fork. When the fork is held in the right hand, the tines are up. If you are eating only with the fork do not put the knife on the plate. Leave it on the table until you have finished the course. When using only the fork, hold it in the right hand, the way a pencil is held, steadied between the forefinger and the middle finger, except that the thumb is turned up rather than down, as when one is writing. When you have finished, place the knife next to the fork on the plate in the 10:20 position.

Tiny bones may get in your mouth. Remove them with your thumb and index finger and place them on the rim of your plate. At times you may be served a lemon wedge; you will want to squeeze it while holding it in your right hand over the fish. Use you left hand as a shield to keep the juice from hitting you or others nearby.

Lobsters are difficult to eat. The claws are cracked with the nutcracker. The meat is extracted with a seafood fork, dipped in butter or sauce, and eaten. Large pieces are first cut with a fork. The small claws are pulled off and sucked, as through a straw. Stuffed lobster is eaten with a knife and fork. Hard-shelled crabs are eaten the same way.

I could spend this month’s tip just talking about eating various fish. I’m certain some of you enjoy other food fare, so let’s get started.

Eggs: Hard cooked eggs are eaten with a fork. Soft-cooked eggs served in an egg cup are eaten directly from the shell with a spoon. Slice off the cap with a knife. Soft-cooked eggs may also be scooped out of the shell into a small dish and eaten with a spoon.

Doughnuts should not be dunked in public. If the setting is casual, and dunking makes the doughnut taste better, go ahead.

Pasta (spaghetti): Use a fork and separate a few strands. Hold the tip of the prongs against the plate and twirl the fork around to gather the strands onto it. According to Peggy Post you may use a large spoon to swirl strands of pasta, however, proper dining etiquette indicates using a spoon is in poor form. Small-sized pasta such as tortellini, ziti and penne are eaten with a fork.

Pizza is cut into wedges with a knife and fork or pizza cutter. Use your fingers to pick up the wider end of the wedge. You may fold the pizza in at the center to keep edges curved inward to prevent the toppings from dripping. Pizza may also be cut into bite-size pieces with a knife and fork, and eaten with a fork.

Potatoes: Baked potatoes are eaten from the skin with a fork. The skin may be eaten with a knife and fork. Do not mash potatoes on your plate. Chips and shoestring potatoes are eaten with the fingers. French fries are halved and eaten with a fork.

Tacos (hard shelled) are held in the hand or on the plate while you add filling, and is picked up with both hands and eaten. Eat filling that may fall out of the taco with a fork.

Asparagus is cut into portions and eaten with a fork when served hot or cold. In Europe, it is eaten with the fingers when served cold. Individual asparagus tongs may also be used.

Bacon is eaten with a knife and fork. Only very crisp bacon may be eaten with your fingers.

Celery, olives, pickles, and radishes are taken from the serving tray with the fingers and placed on the side of your dinner plate or bread and butter plate. Celery and radishes may be dipped in salt and eaten with the fingers. Large olives with a pit are eaten in several bites; discard the pit on the side of the plate. Small stuffed olives are eaten whole.

Barbecued Meats: The nature of a barbecue is informal; therefore the nature of eating barbecued foods is informal. When ribs, manageable pieces of chicken, hamburgers and hot dogs are served, fingers are used instead of utensils. Naturally, steak, fish and other meats served in larger portions normally eaten with a fork are still eaten with a fork.

Fried chicken is only eaten with the fingers at a picnic or a casual family gathering.

It’s the season for corn! Corn on the cob is typically served only at casual meals. Butter and season rows at a time, not the whole ear at once. Hold the ear firmly with the fingers of both hands and bite into the ear removing the kernels of corn.

If you are one of my family members, you are allowed to roll the entire ear on a brand new stick of butter creating a nice indentation on the stick for the next person to apply butter in the same fashion. Salt the entire ear to your liking. The race begins; we find amusement racing to see who can finish the entire ear first. Of course, there can be no rows left uneaten, I’m usually the judge. When I’m in a more formal setting and trying to make a good impression, I hold my cob upright in a vertical position using a sharp knife cutting down the entire ear. Usually you can cut three to four rows at a time. It’s much more fun the other way, but if you are a guest and worried you will have corn stuck in your teeth this is a simple way to avoid the embarrassment.

Meat on a stick:

Just as with casual food fare, meat on a stick can be eaten from the stick. If you are at a business gathering, best to cut the meat from the stick with your fork and then eat from the plate.

Bread: Break off only one bite-sized piece of your bread or roll at a time, then butter and eat it. Don’t pull the roll in half. Do the buttering on your plate, never in midair.

Butter: When the butter is passed, take a portion onto the butter plate with the butter server. If pats are used, pick them up with the serving fork provided and place the butter on your plate. If a serving fork isn’t provided, use your butter spreader.

Fruit is always a complicated food. It seems there is always a question of when it is appropriate to use your fingers when eating various fruits.

Bananas: When eaten at the table are peeled and eaten with a knife and fork.

Berries are eaten with a spoon. Large strawberries served with a stem are held by the stem, dipped in sugar and eaten with one or two bites.

Fruit in a cocktail: If fruit is on a toothpick, you may eat it and discard the toothpick on a plate or on a napkin.

Grapefruit halves are served with the sections loosened. Eat the grapefruit with a spoon, but do not attempt to squeeze out the juice except in the privacy of your own home.

Grapes are eaten by cutting a small portion away from the large bunch with a knife or scissors, then eating one at a time.

Oranges are peeled with a sharp knife, and then eaten section by section. If pre-sliced and served on a plate, the orange is then eaten with a fork.

Watermelon: Eat with a fork unless cubed, and then eat with a spoon. Drop seeds into your cupped hand and place on the side of the plate.

This does not cover everything; I would have to write a book to explain every food category. I hope this helps with some confusion.

Many of my clients ask questions about bones, spills and other mishaps at the table. Here are a few tips.

Blowing your nose:

You should excuse yourself from the table and go to the restroom to blow your nose. Do not use your napkin to blow your nose.

Bugs, hairs and other disgusting things:

When you get something that does not belong in your mouth, there is no remedy but to remove it. This you do as inconspicuously as possible—spitting it quietly into your fingers. Occasionally, however, you notice the alien matter before you eat it—a hair, a worm on the lettuce or a fly in the soup. If it is not upsetting to you, remove the object without calling attention to it and go on eating. If it is such that it upsets your stomach, leave the dish untouched rather than embarrass your hostess, in a private home. At a restaurant you may wish to point out the object to your server and ask for a replacement.

Food stuck in your teeth:

Neither your fingers nor a toothpick should be used at the table to remove food stuck in your teeth. If you feel something wedged between your teeth and it’s bothering you simply excuse yourself and go to the nearest restroom to dislodge whatever it is.

If you notice a distracting bit of food stuck right in the front of another diner’s teeth and believe she or he isn’t aware of it, it’s a nice gesture to tell that person.

Spills:

If you should spill a solid food on the table, pick up as much as you can with a clean spoon or the blade of your knife. If it has caused a stain, dab it with your napkin. If you spill wine or water, get a cloth or sponge and mop up the liquid right away, helping your hostess as much as you can. If you notice your spill is a distraction to the beauty of the table, place your napkin over the spill and ask for another napkin.

One of the greatest tests to a gracious diner is to be presented with any one of a series of eating difficulties that can challenge the manners of the masters. Being at ease at the table means being able to thoroughly enjoy the company and the cuisine. If one’s focus is on anxieties about doing the right thing at the right time, all the pleasure that shared mealtime can bring is diminished.

If you are stumped and you are at a loss of how to eat various foods, watch your host.

Mind Your Manners specializes in seminars and consulting services in business etiquette and international protocol. For more information, please contact Amy Palec at (262) 376-0515 or visit her web site www.amypalec.com.
 

© 2004 Amy L. Palec