Air travel for me has mostly been for pleasure; I’ve never had a job where travel was required. However, I have several acquaintances that are frequent flyers.

There was a time I thought business travel was glamorous. After hearing enough stories about delays, strikes, re-routing and now the increased security, I must admit traveling for business seems very tedious and stressful. No matter your frustrations, one must still be mindful of their manners.

Over the years of listening to gripes and personal experiences, I thought it would be a good time to provide Air Travel Etiquette.

A good place to start would be general pleasantries: “Please,” “Thank you,” “Excuse me,” “You’re welcome.” Sometimes when rushing from one gate to another we forget these simple courtesies.

Board quickly—don’t linger in the entryway.

Carry your bag in front of you as you walk down the aisle. An over-the-shoulder bag will most definitely clip those passengers already seated.

Refrain from storing your bag in another’s space. Place your coat on top of your luggage rather than placing it on the back of your seat or cramming it on your lap.

Sit in your assigned seat until everyone has been seated. Then you can ask to switch spots if the airplane is not full.

Don’t hog the armrests or stretch your feet in front of your neighboring passenger’s seat.

If you are listening to music with headphones, make sure the volume is low enough so that your neighbor does not have to listen to your music.

Don’t kick the seat in front of you. If you are traveling with children this is a good time to teach them proper travel etiquette.

Some people like to strike up a conversation with the person next to them; others do not. Etiquette dictates that before trying to strike up a conversation, observe your fellow passenger’s body language. Look for nonverbal clues as to whether they’re interested in chatting.

If you are traveling with an associate, supervisor, or customer and plan to discuss business on the plane, arrange for your seats to be next to one another not across the aisle. I have witnessed individuals holding conferences across the aisle and disrupting all the passengers around them. Not only is this disruptive, it’s poor business practice – often times business matters should be confidential.

If you feel as though you will need to get out of your seat often and your seat assignment is in the middle or next to the window, you may want to ask your aisle neighbor if they would like to change seats so you don’t disturb them continually throughout the flight.

Be mindful of personal space. Newspapers should be read on the concourse, not the plane, unless you plan on folding it tightly so you are not spreading out too much. That also goes for business papers and large laptops.

If you spill something on someone, apologize and offer to pay for the dry cleaning.

Be careful if you choose an alcoholic beverage—the effects of alcohol are magnified at higher altitudes.

Don’t read other people’s books while they are reading or look at the screen of their laptop computer.

If you are sitting in the aisle seat, do not lean across your fellow passenger to look out the window.

Don’t grab onto the chair in front of you when you are getting up.

Upon arrival, be patient when exiting the plane. If you notice someone having trouble retrieving their luggage from the overhead compartment, be helpful and assist.

If you need to make a tight connection, let the flight attendant know. They will typically help you to the front of the line.

Be kind to the flight attendants. If you have a question, ask the question when you are being served. Never ring the bell unnecessarily. Extend the same consideration to these professionals that you would to restaurant servers.

One of the most frequently questions asked about air plane etiquette is whether it is ok to recline your seat.

I suggest a couple if ideas none of which is exact protocol. I personally glance at the person behind me and make sure they are not eating or working on their lap top. If I see fit, I try to make eye contact letting them know I’m ready to recline. I don’t see it necessary to ask permission, but warning them in advance is a nice gesture.

I have had varying answers to this question when I asked some frequent travelers. Some people say it is their right to recline – everyone else does. Others say it’s so rude, especially when they are eating or doing work on the tray table.

When asked by a reader whether it is “rude” merely to ask someone to limit his reclining, Miss Manners had opined as follows:

“There is a rude party here, all right, but it is neither you, for requesting the space in which to eat your dinner, nor the passenger, for assuming that otherwise everyone spends the time tilted back like a row of dominoes.

“The rude party is the airline that puts people in an untenable position, so to speak, and then allows them to blame one another for their discomfort.”

That excerpt is from a Miss Manners column published in July, 2001

More recently (October 2004), when Miss Manners was asked to assess rights and wrongs in seating-reclining conflicts, she reinforced her earlier comments with the following well-targeted words:

“The real culprit here is the airlines, who install their seats so closely together that the reasonable attitude of reclining a seat that is designed to recline constitutes a nuisance to the passenger behind.

“However, this deeper problem, of setting minimal comfort standards—or even minimal health conditions—for long-haul flights, is not one that etiquette can solve.”

I would like to leave you with one more thought, in the form of an open letter. This one is for those who travel frequently for business.

Dear Frequent Flyers,

Hello, I’m not a frequent flyer. I travel for leisure or in some cases for reasons such as the death or illness of a loved one.

I ask you please to be more tolerant of people like me who do not travel to the extent that you do.

Please be kind to us. We may not be as seasoned as you are. From time to time, we may move a little slower or ask more questions.

Sometimes we forget to bring reading material and get way too excited in the moment and ramble on about ourselves and our trip.

Often times, after the pilot or flight attendant makes an announcement we may not have heard all of it or may not understand what they were saying. Therefore, we turn to you for answers.

Please be patient with us. We promise to repay your kindness when we are sitting next your great aunt, grandparents or your children on their first flights alone.

Sincerely,

Your not-so-seasoned traveler